I've had some dealings with our children this week. Some have made me smile, some haven't. I've been reminded once again, of a theory I have. It's not based on science of any sort, just personal experience and listening to other moms through the years. My theory is this. You are who you are from before you are born. Indulge me, please. I believe that a child (at least mine) gives MAJOR clues about his basic personality and approach to life by his birth process and first moments out in this world. What???!!! O.K. Here it goes.
I gave birth to a child who was in a bit of a rush, pushing head first into things that weren't quite ready to allow him to pass. He didn't care. He wanted what he wanted when he wanted it and had his mouth wide open and demanding from the second he arrived. He always let you know when he was happy, sad, or in between and demanded that YOU do something, HAD to do something for him. He's always been the squeeky wheel and is often not content. Another child approached this world in quite a different way. He came along, taking his time, slowly but surely relaxing along the way, until he just sort of slithered out like a wet fish. He actually laughed when he made his debut (seriously--you can ask everyone who was present) and settled right in. He's pretty easy going, doesn't ask for much and can be found laughing quite often. And still another child decided IT IS TIME and went for it with a "let's get this thing done" attitude. The largest--10 1/2 lb. The quickest--1 1/2 hr. Pure focus. This child had a "I want this NOW" approach, but tempered with a workable acceptance of the surrounding environment. As the years have passed and my mothering skills have been tested to the max, I have come to this conclusion. My children ARE who they ARE. I tried to guide and mold and give them the best I had to offer, but basically their approaches to life and the things it brings their way is THEIRS. I can't change that. Each one has an approach to life that is similar to the birth process and first moments in our world. One tends to push and sometimes feel entitled, one tends to shrug off demands and live on his own time line and one tends to plan, focus and accomplish.
These three children of mine are each different, each irritating and wonderful, each well loved. I wouldn't have it any other way. Well, I would, but it's not going to happen... So give those little or big ones a nice juicy wet one today, because...sometimes they just can't help it...
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been “styling” things; days spent in the gravel designing floor plans with pebbles, a secret leafy hide-a-way inside a shrub by the lake, frugally building a dollhouse and all the furnishings using cardboard, a donated wallpaper book and found objects.
I was appalled when, as a teen, my parents purchased an entire bedroom set for my little room --- all I’d EVER wanted was a daybed and odd little prints tacked on the walls….
For the last 23 years, home has been Stone Meadow Farm, an 1840’s farmhouse on 5 acres.
My tastes have evolved through the years, but the foundation has stayed the same – my belief that modest things can be more beautiful than anything expensive, that style comes from one’s heart, and… find the FUN in everything!